Shorona's Story

Give me a P. Give me an A. Give me an I. Give me an S. And what does it spell. Yayyyy PAIS.

WARNING: the following persyn is a political ativist (feminist, greenie etc.). Although a loving, caring and generally nice womyn, some of her views may be confronting. Be assured that she means well, and literally wouldn't hurt a fly.

Hi AIS mob. My name is S______ ______ and I would very much like to join the email circle and expand my AIS contacts. I am 29 yo and am PAIS 5. I have been in contact with T______ and K______ [circle members] in U.S. for a while which has been wonderful, and I look forward to being able to meet some of you eventually (particularly if there are any Australian wimmin (and especially PAIS).

My story is of early diagnosis (around 6 months; enlarged clitoris) and of early medical intervention ("cut" at 10 months). Regular, very uncomfortable and barely explained visits to the doctor followed. And eventually (8yo?) I was told by my mother that I would never have periods/children. From then on I stopped feeling like/being a confident, normal child. I think I had my testes removed at 10 1/2 at which time I started on eostrogen. Then maybe at 13/14? I underwent surgery to create a vagina, after which I was told that once an opening was cut, it was discovered that I had a previously hidden vagina already. I then used glass dialators regularly for a long while (which I was ashamed of). In fact I used them far longer than necessary because noone told me when I could stop.

I recall, as a child, telling my mother that I wanted to be boy (which makes me smile now to think of how it may have freaked her out). I also know a lot of other "standard" wimmin who said the same thing as young girls, basically because we all wanted to wear pants and be able to get dirty and play sport etc.

And I recall at 12yo, asking my mother if I could go out with some girlfiends (and some older boys). At her dissallowance I said "Why not? It's not like I can get raped." To which she replied with a silence that implied I should think about the ramifications of that. I didn't go.

I have been happily sexually active since 16yo (before I discovered my clitoris). And I've had female lovers since 18. I identify as a bi-sexual womyn, but also as a lesbian, particularly recently (and sometimes I joke that I'm a straight man). I have been an ardent feminist since childhood, and a greenie etc since my teens. I've been interested in decontsructing notions of gender for a long time, so I'm amazed as I find my physical self on a dynamic edge of the gender debate.

I bought a computer in early 99, and soon after found the AIS website which has amazed, informed and overjoyed me. Many thanks to all those invoved in the support group and the website. I am being challenged by some of the things I have been finding out, and I am feeling wonderfully validated by the contact and communications with others of our mob.

I am (after some traumatic periods) very happy at this stage of my life, although I am harbouring (and trying to process) some full-on "stuff". LOVE