Emma's Story

[Received Nov 2001]

Hi my name's Emma, I found your site after reading an article in the Sunday Times.

I've lost track of the number of times I've felt my blood run cold every time I've stumbled across articles or seen programmes about abnormal genitalia. I have an enlarged clitoris. I hate even writing that word, I'm so ashamed of it. But I do have periods, although I didn't start til I was fifteen. My breasts didn't grow properly so I resorted to cosmetic surgery when I was 29, I'm now 39. I've always considered myself a girl but not like the rest. I've had many boyfriends and husbands too. I've never experienced orgasm through penetrative sex. I guess my vagina is normal too. But I can never let myself get turned on because my clitoris enlarges and I feel so embarassed.

As I child I was a real tomboy, playing with typical boys toys. My two sisters got the prams I got the go-carts and train sets. In fact my sisters frequently referred to me as their brother. I tackled the question with my mother when I was sixteen, but she just dismissed me with the comment "You've got two arms and legs, what more do you want?" I felt so worthless and hurt. I've been to the doctors to ask them directly but the last time I was examined was twelve years ago and was told that I was normal. Eight years ago I had a laparoscopy and I was told that my ovaries and womb were fine but now I understand that doctors frequently lie or conceal the truth. I have never been pregnant though I've tried with several partners.

There's much more to my story, but is there anybody out there who could shed some light on this matter or has the same symptons. It was a revelation finding this site. Incidentally the last time I broached this subject with my friendly female doc a couple of months ago she informed me that my medical records were lost when I was about eleven years old. There is no medical history on me pre1973. F****** Brilliant.

NOTE! I have changed my name and this is for web use only. I'm from the UK